why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Barsexuality is the new black.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
