apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
