are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
