And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
