Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
