i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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