So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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