Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
