yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize