Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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