As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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