She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
