You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
