chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
