whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
