We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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