guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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