i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
