I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
