Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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Im part way to drunk.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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