did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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