I wish my penis had an off switch
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
