She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
