Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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