We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize