i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
