Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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