I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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