The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
