Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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