Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
