so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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