I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
