Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
