drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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