Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
