I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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