do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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