I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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