PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize