do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
