shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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