We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
