New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
