You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
