Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
