i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
