If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
