I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
