we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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