their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
