i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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