I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
