Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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