I feel great
I just peed on a car
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
