You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
