There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
