I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize