Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
