It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
