i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
