I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
