It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
