If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
accomplished twins. life is a go
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
