Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
