I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
